The family includes children – often parents take the burden of setting all the family goals on their own without including the children and others that might be in the home. While parents may have the greatest responsibility, it is unwise to pretend those affected by decisions made on behalf of the family do not have any contribution to make. Consider including everyone in the planning. This not only encourages children to set their own goals, but also helps them understand why parents make the decisions they make, which can assist in building trust between parents and children.
Set goals for the various areas of the family’s life – the family life is composed of more than finances. Although finances are an important part of keeping a healthy family, there are other areas that make up the family’s overall well being e.g. diet, relationships, education, life skills etc.
Affirm and listen to every family member – people want to feel seen and heard. It is in the family’s best interest to cultivate a habit of listening to each other and giving room to speak openly and honestly to each other in a calm and productive manner. It isn’t healthy nor helpful for family members to only engage when there is conflict.
Ask for help from those around you if you aren’t sure how to go about something – it can be difficult to figure out how best or even when to engage family members. It could be that you are uncomfortable speaking to your child about one thing or another e.g. communicating that you have now lost a job and the family’s lifestyle must be adjusted. Such conversations can be difficult for everyone involved. In such instances, seek out the assistance of a trusted person within your community. This can be another family member, a fellow church member, or even your child’s teacher. Whatever you decide, make sure that it is someone that your child can trust and is comfortable to speak to. In the absence of a trusted person, you might want to consider writing a note to your child, or even recommending they watch a video to kick start the conversation. What is important is that you don’t leave unsaid what is better said no matter how difficult.
Transparency and open communication are key – Again, do not leave unsaid what is better said. By allowing ourselves to be courageous and speaking truthfully, we encourage others to do the same. When we can speak honestly with one another within the family, then we can learn to trust each other and build strong genuine relationships that lead to healthy family relationships.
There is no time like the present to start collective goal setting – it might be awkward at first but it won’t be awkward the next year. Procrastinating the start of a great habit does not diminish its necessity nor its potential benefit, it only moves those benefits further down the timeline.
Review each year with grace and determination to get better in the next year – in some years all the goals will be achieved, while in other years only some. That is okay. Persevere.
