- Rape isn’t the only kind of sexual violence
Rape, both general and statutory, are but one kind of sexual violence there is. Other forms include sexual exploitation, grooming, flashing, child pornography and other forms of physical assault that are sexual in nature and have not been consented to. When speaking to your child about sexual violence, make them aware that if something makes them feel uncomfortable and in danger, they must report it. Online safety and privacy is also important as child predators also use social media and the internet to exploit children. Keep watch over what and who your child interacts with online and offline. Have an awareness of where they go and with whom. Create an environment where you discuss their day to day frequently, that way you will pick up if something is off.
- Women and children are capable of sexual violence
Reports on sexual violence show that majority of perpatrators are male and people known to the victim. However this does not mean that these are the only perpertrators. There are case of sexual assault and violence committed by women, and other children. Whether you are a child or women, the laws apply.
- Boys and men can be victims of sexual assault
We don’t hear it often but it is true. There are a significant number of cases where men and boys have been victims of sexual violence. Remember that rape particularly is about power rather than sexual desire. It is expected then that the abuse of power will occur in multiple circumstances. It is wise to discuss sexual violence with both your daughter and your son, so that both know what to look out for and where to go should they feel the threat of violence or experience it.
- Trauma is not outgrown with time
It is said time heals everything, however this is somewhat of a misleading statement if not completed. Time heals everything that we face head on and work towards healing – that is the complete statement. If your child, or you, have been a victim of sexual violence do not expect that ignoring what has happened will fix the damage it has done. You must face what has happened head on, difficult and painful as it may be. Legally the sooner action is taken the better. This is true emotionally, physiologically and psychologically as well. Don’t give into the temptation to turn a blind eye, thinking your child is young and will forget with time. They might forget but the body will remember and it will complicate their life in unimagined ways.
You and your child are strong and able.to face abuse and violence. Reach out to the appropriate organizations – you are not alone.
- Just because it happens does not mean it should
If you watch the news, listen to people speak or even draw on what you’ve seen and heard in your own life, you may be tempted to hold the view that sexual violence is so common that it is now acceptable and should just be regarded as just another issue. It is true that unfortunately sexual violence is rampant. However it is not true that we should accept it as normal, thereby adjusting social standards to accommodate a social ill. Whatever the reasons we may come up with to understand why and how sexual violence became wide spread, is not aimed at justifying or excusing it. Explanations help us understand the problem in depth so we can deal with it adequately. Never should explanations be excuses. Sexual violence is criminal, immoral and harmful. It is wrong. And we should continue to fight against it even when it feels like throwing a pebble into an ocean. Even if it saves the life of one person, that is one life that matters.