Cavity-rotten thoughts: How negative thoughts weaken your self-perception
Written by Ms Nkosingiphile P. Cele
June, 23, 2022
Have you ever listened to how you think and speak to yourself?
Have you noticed how these thoughts have power over your life?
A few months ago I noticed that in any given room, at any given time, I would see and think of myself as the lesser person. I concluded that I was the least smart, the least educated – basically the least everything. I noticed that I was afraid to comment on topics of discussion because I feared my comment may not be as powerful or impactful as someone else’s. The withdrawal, self-doubt and fear were clear indications of a big problem:
I had low self-regard and a poor self-image.
How did I become this person, you ask? My suspicion… Through my thoughts about myself.
Our thoughts are a significant part of who we are and who we become. Rotten negative thoughts have the power to ruin both our present and future selves. Rotten, or negative unproductive, thoughts are a very strong poison that creates a cavity in the self-image. Holes in the self-image not only undermine our confidence to hold spaces and be fully present, but when left untreated, these thoughts can permanently weaken the structure of who you are.
Yes, when there are gaps in the self-image, not only do you have a low sense of who you are and who you can become, but you also seek out direction & validation externally. For example: Choosing a bad friendship/ relationship, all because you think you aren’t good enough and you don’t deserve better. Another one, promising yourself to wait before engaging in any sexual relationships but forget that promise as soon as you are pressured because you do not have the strength to uphold your boundaries. One last one, You may have promised yourself to never fall pregnant before reaching a certain age or milestone but because of rotten thoughts, that promise may soon be broken. All of these examples often feel like a self-fulfilled prophecy as they prove you cannot trust yourself to do what is good for yourself.
The importance of positive thoughts on a positive self-image cannot be overestimated. It is extremely important to pause and take a serious look at how you think of yourself. Just you… Your thoughts alone about YOU! The more negative your thoughts are, the more likely it is you aren’t taking actions that lead to the life you actually want. Yes, this does mean you are most likely making poor sexual and reproductive health choices. Negative thinking also leads to low moods and often depression and just like the Chicken-Licken monkey, the more you give attention to negative thoughts, the craving grows bigger and stronger.
So what are we to do then because negative thoughts seem to always come knocking on the door even though they aren’t invited? I recently decided to put up a “do not disturb” sign. I saw the damage of my negative thoughts and I knew that urgent change was due, visiting rotten thoughts had to go so cavities could heal. It was time for new thought patterns. And so here are my 4-point strategy to heal my cavities:
- Note my thoughts when I am with company, when I am alone, and any other time in-between.
- Note the way I allow my inner voice to speak to me – This quickly revealed how much negativity I had allowed into my mind which helped me to be realistic & honest with how greatly distorted my self-image is, the nature of the thoughts that were damaging and untrue, as well as the time it would take to unlearn.
- Consciously look at myself as the best person in the room, purposely noticing all the good things about me.
- Writing down everything positive that I loved about myself, that made me proud to be in my skin. The importance & power of these notes came through strongly on difficult days when I needed a reminder of why I love me. Writing is an active way of creating new positive and productive thought patterns – very much like putting in a filling on a cavity.
Living by the 4-point strategy has not been easy, nothing about this journey has been easy, but it has totally been worthwhile. My life has taken a turn for the best! Every morning I speak and think my day into existence. I think and speak good thoughts about me, as the week begins I proclaim good things. I thank myself for hardships endured and victories conquered. I am kind in areas where I have not reached my expected outcomes. I make more informed choices about my life, my health and relationships. Taking charge over my thoughts has helped me heal the cavities I suffered previously.
Fact is the world has only 1 of you. You are valid, your choices matter, your input is needed to make this world a better place. You need to own whichever space you are positioned in and bring the best of you along. But, in order to do that, you must first change how you think about yourself by getting rid of the rot causing the cavities.
References:
Ubusha Bami futhi yimi lo – My youth and this is me! © 22 June 2022
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