Anyone who has ever gone through an interview process tends to say, this one question is always a tricky one, “Tell us about yourself?” Stress! My sarcastic response is to refer them to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs… “well me, hmmm lets see I eat, I poop, I sleep in a bed and desire a job- so basic needs are sorted. That top tier of self-actualisation is nyising me! If I must be honest…”
The issue with this question is its underlying suggestions, it calls for an honest self reflection. A zondo commission of inquiry about your tender issuing for self love and self care, all of which have probably been looted in exchange for people pleasing, a job, a degree you hate, a lover who just wants to love you, family approveral, friendship acceptance etc. biblical wisdom says, ‘what good does it help for one to gain the world and lose their soul.’
Our self-esteem has the ability to either catapult us into amazing spaces, where reaching your dreams is a reality, a place of contentment, room to develop healthier lifestyle choices or our self-esteem can send us into a downward spiral of self-doubt, desperation, and overall dull outlook on life.
So, as already established in the previous articles. There is no doubt that self esteem is a contributor to one’s perspective and relation to sexual and reproductive health. Moreover, our interpersonal relationships provide us with a lot of information on who we are, who we should be and who we should really avoid becoming. So in this article we thought maybe we should bring in some testimonials/reflections on how others view themselves:
Honestly, Figuring out who we are isn’t an easy task nor is it finite. I mean I’ve lived almost half my life struggling to find a balance with regards to who I am and how I see myself. Unfortunately, there isn’t a manual when it comes to self-esteem, it’s basically a compilation of decisions, experiences and habits over years.
“Body Image for me has always been a thing especially when it comes to sexual encounters. I’ve generally been always conscious about certain parts of my body mostly because I’ve never really seen myself as a person who has a body that is appealing to “men” or rather meet societal “standards” of sexxyyy. So I’d rather just keep to myself. Fear of being judged by my “partner”. So engaging sexaully has always been particularly difficult for me. I generally DON’T! It’s easier, i don’t get to be vulnerable like that. I just live, with my Un-sexy body!” – Ms Anonymous, 29 | “I Feel like as women we are so toxically conscious of our bodies. It’s like we strive for a particular type of perfection that must somehow impress the guys. And if u don’t feel that way, u low-key accept poor treatment from men coz the self esteem issues have u believing ukuthi futhi nje bayakzama by accepting the imperfect you😩 I don’t know if it’s mental but something about women is happening incorrectly at some stage in our lives” – Ms Anonymous, 27 |
“I’ve never been pregnant and fear that when it does happen, things may change for me. This includes my body, and the intimacy aspect of my relationship. I fear that the Changes that come with pregnancy may change how confident I feel about intimacy currently” – Ms Anonymous, 27 | “I’ve actually never had a self esteem issue, but I acknowledge that we all suffer with some insecurities. However, I’ve always believed that I’m charming, I don’t look that bad, I have a good fashion sense and I have ‘game’ so I don’t have issues appreciating women.” – Mr Anonymous, 28 |
However, I’m empowered by the fact that only I have the power to change how I see myself and I have the potential to completely change the trajectory of my life. You have the power to say no and yes to things that will help you become the best version of yourself. I would also advise that throughout that process remember to love yourself, be kinder to yourself and always respect yourself – because if you don’t, nobody will, I can tell you that much for free.
References:
Image – painted by Davide Cambria – https://pin.it/2nou1Ku
Ubusha Bami futhi yimi lo – My youth and this is me! © 2 June 2022
One comment on ““I” View: Reflections”
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