7 steps to Level Up – Realistic steps on how to do good by yourself
Written by Ms Vanessa Mpatlanyane
July, 13, 2022
From the internet of things to the Twitter streets, everyone is talking about loving yourself more and better. It is surprising how for many of us, showing yourself love and appreciation is something we make secondary. So much so that world-renowned self-help gurus have written thousands of words to encourage us to do good by ourselves. It is a tad bit ironic that in a self-centered culture, true love and value of the self is lacking.
World-renowned author-speaker and psychology professor Jordan B. Peterson says ‘we would all be better off if we treated ourselves like someone we are responsible for helping.’ By doing so, Peterson suggests, we would wreck significantly less havoc in society and in our personal lives. I think Peterson is on to something – if we pay more attention to enhancing who we are as individuals, constantly giving our best and ever open to learning more, not only will we benefit but those around us will too.
What then can you do to show up for yourself AKA Level up! How can you love yourself bigger and better so that your self-esteem gets a boost and others around you too? Well here are 7 practices & decisions to start you off:
Learn to accept the things you cannot control, and those you cannot change.
Too much time, effort and emotion is wasted on things that take the life source out of you – instead of regenerating it. If you cannot change it or control it, recognise it and move on. Mourn it if you must. But do move on. The sooner, the better.
Explore the opportunities to enact change with bravery and perseverance.
Sometimes we have an opportunity to actually do something about whatever it is we deem wrong, unfair or plain evil. When such an opportunity presents itself to you, take it! Maybe it isn’t changing the world right away, but it isn’t nothing. Every bit of responsibility to do good, no matter how seemingly insignificant, must be exploited relentlessly. Learn to look for opportunities to do good. Often, these are located in the places you’re most reluctant to go, and in the tasks you would rather avoid.
Value your existence at the highest level.
This one can be a little tricky because we all know narcissists have no problems in this area. And yes, in excess this can breed quite an unpleasant being. With that caution in place, it is still a necessary practice – you must accept that you are inherently valuable even if that may not seem like it at the moment. When we practice seeing ourselves positively, we become more inclined to demand more for and from ourselves. We avoid disappointing ourselves and acting in ways that are contrary to someone of value and integrity. You also reward yourself for acting in line with who you know you can be. I’ve come to realize that we each have our own niche in the world and we do well to fulfill that role. But all this requires an initial admission: say it with me… “I am valuable and should be bringing my best to the table, not to earn my value, but because of it!”
Entertain your fears head-on.
Fear is such an enemy of progress. Too many people have forfeited their seat at a table reserved for them because of fear. Heck, so many of us have dropped our number on the value scale to zero because of fear. Facing your fears and challenges head-on not only drastically increases the probability of overcoming and solving them respectively, but also puts you in a position to build self-confidence through evidence. With each problem solved, each fear overcome, this sets you up to be more confident about dealing with the next challenge or fear. Now tell me, who doesn’t like that feeling of a good win!
Leave dead-weight behind, always.
Hands up if you still regret waiting as long as you did to exit a situation or person you knew was no good earlier?! I thought so. Leaving situations and people that are not good for us can be very difficult. Our attachments are real; as real as our fears and anxieties about the unfamiliar and the unknown. But that shouldn’t stop you from choosing the option that your future self will thank you for. If the answer to the question is “go”, pack up and leave. The future tends to work in our favor when we operate on hope, faith and courage.
Unlearn patterns and habits that degrade, degenerate and dishonor what or who you value.
It is never worth it. Nothing that brings your character, values, family and whatever else you treasure dishonor is ever worth it. Nothing stays hidden forever, no matter how dark it was when you said or did it. The sun always comes up. So choose wisely. Practice self-control and perseverance. Don’t allow your thoughts to wander in the wrong direction. Thoughts have a funny way of germinating into actions. Hold yourself accountable to the highest standard. This of course does not mean you won’t slip. But have an ideal so you can identify loopholes, and avoid them like the plague. On the occasion that you slip, be honest with yourself, mend what is broken and get back to aiming for your highest ideal. Yes, extending grace to yourself is consistent with honoring and valuing yourself.
Pump your body, mind & heart with all that is good and wholesome.
It goes without saying that a healthy body is a healthy mind & heart, and vice versa. Drink your water. Eat right. Exercise. Say your prayers. Enunciate your affirmations. Make time for the things that fill your cup. Build meaningful and supportive relationships. Take up a childhood hobby again. Do whatever you need to do to keep moving positively, steadily and courageously.
Life is full of things that weigh us down, things that make us hate it here. It is up to us to act contrary to that. Doing so isn’t childish unrealistic optimism. It is a mature realistic strategy to win the battle. That is how we LEVEL UP.
References: 1
- Image – https://pin.it/4R10ame
- Peterson compliments this rule with additional rules like ‘Befriend people who want the best for you’, and ‘Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient’, all of which place emphasis on focusing on your fullest potential, responsibility and value in the world. Peterson, JB. 2018. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Random House, Canada.
Ubusha Bami futhi yimi lo – My youth and this is me! © 12 July 2022
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